We Love Cosplay

“Deidara-sempai!  Sasori-sempai!  Tobi got us costumes,” Tobi sang, skipping into the apartment with a bulging plastic shopping bag.

“Oh God,” groaned Deidara, who was lounging on the couch.  

“Don’t worry!  Tobi just knows that you will love them!”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” chuckled Sasori, who was lounging on Deidara.  

“Look, look, look!” Tobi squeaked.  “This one is Tobi’s…” from the plastic bag he drew a pair of baggy jeans and a long-sleeved white t-shirt.  “Will you guess who we are going to be?”

“What, the Ghetto Rejects?” Sasori yawned.  Deidara chuckled.  

“Noooooo…” Tobi grinned, enjoying himself immensely.  “Here is Sasori-sempai’s, okay?”  From the plastic bag he drew a pair of khakis and an orange ribbed turtleneck sweater.  

Deidara burst out in hysterical laughter.  “Ba ha ha ha!!!  Sasori no danna’s going to wear a sweater!!!”  Gasping through his laughter, he started to roll around on the couch, trying to clutch at his ribs.  Soon enough, he had rolled off the couch and both he and Sasori were on the floor.  

“…and here is Deidara-sempai’s!”  From the bag, Tobi lifted a set of black patent leather pumps and a pair of black-and-white-striped thigh socks.  Deidara stopped laughing.  A pair of mini-suspenders.  His blue eyes widened in shock.  A black lacy tummy top.  Sasori started to laugh.  A black-and-red plaid miniskirt.  Deidara nearly cried.  

“Aaaaaaaand…” Tobi cried out, reminiscent of a three-year-old who had just discovered their own belly button.  From the nearly-empty bag of Doom he drew the final piece.  

Sasori cried with laughter.  Deidara stood up and started yelling and cursing at Tobi.  In response, the thrilled Tobi waved the pair of black underwear with yellow hearts in front of his sempai’s face.  “Go on and put them on, Sempai!” he encouraged.  “You’ll look beau-tee-full!”  

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“Trick or treat!” L sang, holding out the Little Mermaid pillowcase for candy.  Yagami Light stood next to him, smirking slightly, holding out his Safeway bag.  

“Oh!  Look at you, what handsome boys!” cried the deaf and senile Mrs. Chiyo.

“Thank you very much, Grandma,” Light said, amused to an obscene degree.  

“Oh hello there, Sasori, I didn’t recognize you!  Oh, you two are so handsome, I bet you both have girlfriends already!”

L and Light smiled devilishly at each other and parted to show their friend, in full Misa getup, his face flushed, gripping the bottom of his miniskirt trying to get more coverage.  

“Oh!  Look at you, what a beautiful young lady!” crowed the old lady.  “Your skirt is a little short though, isn’t it?”  

Misa took a long shaky breath, swallowed twice, and attempted a smile which came out a grimace.  “I guess it is,” he consented.  

“Oh!  You young people are so sweet!  Here, take some suckers,” Mrs. Chiyo said in a D’aww-type voice.  

“Yay!” L cheered.  “I love suckers!”  

“Me too,” Light agreed, eyeing Misa up and down.  

“You have a nice Halloween, Mrs. Chiyo!” L chirped as he pranced off down her path most un-L-ishly.

“Awww!”  She closed her door.  The remaining two of the threesome turned heel and trotted back across her lawn.  

“Here, brat,” Sasori breathed in Deidara’s ear.  “Have a sucker, sucker.”  

Deidara stopped his walking and faced Sasori, smiling at him sweetly.  

He then kneed Sasori square in the nuts.  

Sasori looked down at the dent in his the crotch of his khakis.  Deidara burst into riotous laughter.  

“Sasori-sempai,” Tobi said sincerely, with a lollipop stick dripping drool poking out one corner of his mouth, “where’s your penis?”  

“You’re being Misa next year,” Deidara sneered.